


Salt Water

by soggyramen



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Comedy, F/M, Gay, Gay Male Character, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Love Triangles, M/M, Multi, captain hiccup, frequent comma abuse, fucking natzis, gobber is an old drunkard, goofy comedy, i took some inspiration from pirates of the caribbean but like not a lot, implied hiccstrid, it was actually mostly from the little mermaid on broadway, mermaid, self-serving fanfiction, this is like me leaving the war then dreaming of getting shot and deciding to go back, toothless is a boat, written by a veteran httyd fan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-09 21:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19483939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soggyramen/pseuds/soggyramen
Summary: Hiccup is the captain of his ship, the Night Fury. Together, he and his crew of outcasts, pillage the seas in search for treasure. One day, Hiccup finds a map left by his father, leading them to a remote island with the promise of great wealth. But instead of riches, the young captain stumbles upon a living myth. A merman who guards the treasure they seek.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this Fic is really self-serving and dumb and I’m gonna regret it in a few months, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I used to do more httyd fics but that was like, 120 years ago, and I had an account on wattpad and shit, but I promised myself those days were over and yet, here I am. Anyway, this thing is gonna update REALLY slowly because I have better things to do then this. Also there’s gonna be 1 OC but don’t worry you’ll like him. He’s not stupid and tacky. Anyway, enjoy or, like, don’t. Thanks.

“Any sign of land yet, Cap’n?” Snotlout shouts weakly, spitting the remainder of his sour vomit into the ocean, body draped over the side of the boat. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.”

“Hang in there Snotlout! Can’t be too long now!” Hiccup calls from the bow of the ship. 

The day can’t be any more perfect. With a strong wind in the sails, the salty waters lapping onto the sides of the Night Fury, it's days like these that Hiccup is reminded of why he loves being a pirate. Nothing can compare to the breath of the sea on his face, or the breeze in his hair. He’d be no captain at all if he didn’t live for the sea.

Astrid’s voice chimes in with the sound of the waves while she lugs the sickly pirate off of the side of the ship. “I told you we shouldn’t have brought him on this one, Hiccup!” Two months on the ship with her crew mates has been more than enough time to erode her patience. 

“Aye! What kind of pirate are you, Snotlout!” Gobber, the old drunkard of the crew, slurs with the stench of alcohol in his words. He’s rather comfortable on his barrel, right next to his keg of rum. “Best yee take some advice from ol’ Gobber: the best remedy to the sea, is the drink!”

“Not on a daily basis!” The blessed voice of reason, Fishlegs argues. “Gobber, you’ve been throwing eight of em’ back a day! How are you not dead yet?”

“What kind of pirate would I be if I was?” He blissfully takes another swig of rum.

Hiccup looks back down at his map, which has long been stained by age and crumpled by the tight space of his father’s shelf he had found it upon. The rips at the corners of the paper threaten to tear it apart at the slightest infringement of stress. The map is practically an artifact. 

He follows the red line that swerves through islands and peninsulas, sea monsters and storms alike to where, he reckons, is they’re current location. Which, on the map, is mere inches away from the red “X” that rests on a miniscule tropical island. The island in question is incredibly detailed with groves of palm trees, coves and entrances to caves. But what really matters, is the waterfall the “X” resides beneath.

A scream from the back of the boat is not nearly enough to pull Hiccup’s attention away from his map.

“Get it off! Get it off! It’s a kraken!!” Tuffnut screams, scrambling and clawing at the octopus wrapped around his face.

His sister is no help to him. In fact, she finds amusement in his pathetic struggle. “Aww! Tuff made a friend!”

“No! No! It’s eating my face! Get it off!”

“Shut up, idiot, it’s just an octopus.” Astrid tugs the creature right off the man, tossing it back into the sea. 

Tuffnut is traumatized. Red circles left by suction cups decorate his face in such an unsightly manner, they make Ruffnut cringe before bursting into laughter.

He goes absolutely pale. “What is it? Is my nose gone!? Am I green?!”

Astrid rolls her eyes. “You’re fine.”

Meanwhile, the captain exchanges glances between the map and the endless blue ocean before them, without a speckle or spot of land. “I don’t get it.” He mumbles. “We should be there by now.” He sighs before looking up to the crows nest. “You see anything, Eret?” 

“Aye!” Eret replies, peering into the telescope. “Is that it, Captain?” 

“Let’s hope!” 

Eret tosses down the telescope for his captain to catch. 

Holding it to his eye, Hiccup smiles at the sight of the island. It’s, miles away, hardly visible, but greener than an emerald. Upon looking back down to his map, he begins to laugh. The realization that their long voyage is over, hits him like a gull’s shit on his head. A journey in which they had little proof their destination wasn’t fiction in the first place. And yet, there it is, only a few miles away. “Yes! We’re in the home stretch, gang! It’s just starboard to us!”

With the announcement of the news, an awesome, sweeping wave of glee sweeps the deck. It triggers whoops and cries of victory that can be heard by the dolphins in the Night Fury’s wake. 

“Let’s not all get too excited!” Gobber interjects. “With great treasure, comes great danger!” He recites the late Captain Stoick’s moto with as much force and burliness as he would have in his days of life. “Ain’t that right, Hiccup?”

Hiccup nods as he recalls the blissful summer days of pirating with his father. He was lucky, and proud to be the son of the legendary Captain Stoick the Vast. His childhood was filled swashbuckling battles, glittering chests of gold and the kisses of beautiful barmaids. Yes, his father was the most influential person in his life. A teacher, a leader, a role-model, and for the lesser half of his relationship with him, a friend. Though Hiccup doubts he will ever be able to be as infamous as his “old man”, he vowed to raise every sail with his spirit and turn the wheel with him in mind.

“Whatever.” Tuffnut scoffs. “We can take it! We’ve seen the worst of it, right? Krakens! Squids! Curses! Ruffnut naked!” 

“Not so fast,” Eret says, swinging down from the crows nest to join the conversation on deck. “The ocean is known for it’s surprises.”

Gobber slurs, nearly tipping right off his barrel “Exactly! When’s there ever jus’ booty layin’ around for somebody to find? Maybe the island has a giant, hungry, bear? Or mermaids?”

Hiccup chuckles at the poposterus prediction. “Mermaids, huh, Gobber?”

Snotlout’s complexion goes from sea green to beet red. “Mmh...mermaids.”

“Easy there, Snotface.” Gobber says. “I reckon ‘er interests be in sinkin’ our ship with ‘er song, rather than kissin’ yee!”

Astrid finally interrupts the boys banter by shoving mugs into the hands of her fellow crew members. “I propose a toast!” After filling her glass with rum, she raises it into the air, waiting for the rest to follow. 

They do. Even Hiccup, who abandons his post at the front of the ship to join his best-mate’s side. 

“To our captain!” She gives him a playful hip-bump and a charming smile. “Leading us to adventure and riches once again! Cheers! To Captain Hiccup!”

All repeat her, like a great echo. “To Captain Hiccup!” 

Together, they toss their heads back to finish the contents of the mug in one go. 

Astrid peck’s Hiccup on the cheek, interlocking her fingers with his, ever so proud of her captain sweetheart. But Hiccup takes this as a challenge, his retaliation consisting of him grabbing her by the waist, and capturing her lips in a passionate kiss. Astrid is no woman to reject, and so she wraps her arms around him to welcome him into her embrace. 

Gobber suddenly interrupts them with, “Save it for below deck!” In which the crew responds by laughing along, the couple, laughing with them.

The gang is then reminded of the reason for celebration, when the wind blows with the force of a hurricane, almost hurrying the ship toward the island in the far distance. The island, that when they look up, they find is sitting, waiting for them.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They got to the island.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer and has a lot of goofy stupid humor and was a lot of fun to write hopefully you're reading this on your phone and not your computer so you can see what 1600-something words look like

Everyone’s introduction to the island is a little different. 

The first thing Hiccup does upon reaching shore, is look at his map. He finds their relative location, the beach on the southernmost point. Unfortunately, the plunge pool where their treasure lies, lives halfway across the island, coincidentally, being the centerpoint of it. Hiccup reckons the best course of action would be to have he and his crew rest for the time being. In the morning, they’ll go searching for what they’ve come for.

Astrid’s is a bit less graceful. She was picked to be the unlucky pirate to haul the shitfaced drunk, ticking puke-bomb that is old Gobber, off the Night Fury. She lost a bet.

Gobber has one hook-ended arm around the young woman as he stumbles, his peg-leg only being an obstacle for him to trip over. “What a beaut’ of an island! Look at all those pineapples!”

“Let’s just focus on getting off the ship, Gobber….”

Contrary to Astrid, Snotlout has collapsed on the beach. The sand has become his muse from the moment he stepped off the ship. His lips are covered in grains of the substance from kissing it, whispering and crying of how much he missed it.

But once the twins lay eyes on the holy, towering coconut trees, bringers of concussions, milk and probably death, their mission to crack each other’s fucking skulls open with the hairy fruit, begins.

Fishlegs marvels at the geography. He’s seen tropical islands before, but none so vibrant and plentiful. He jots down types of plants and wildlife he’s never come across on previous journeys. Being a man of knowledge, and one who thirsts for more, the island itself is filled with questions he is eager to find the answers to.

Eret stays up in the crow’s nest. He’s not quite ready to come down just yet. 

“We’ll camp out here for tonight.” Hiccup announces. “Find a nice palm tree to string your hammock across and make yourself comfortable!” He smiles, looking over the ridiculous, chaotic lot he is proud to call his crew. “We’re not leaving until we find what we came for!”

“Fine by me~” Snotlout sighs in relief.

Astrid throws gross, drunk Gobber down onto a nice rock and saunters over to her captain. She peers over his shoulder to see the map he holds wide open as he studies it. “You probably don’t even need it anymore.” She comments. “You’ll be seeing that thing in your dreams.” She takes his feathered hat off, putting atop her head, to reveal Hiccup’s shaggy, disheveled auburn hair. As much as Astrid wants him to pay attention to her, he can’t help but stare at the map. He does so in such a way that it looks like he’s trying to solve a jigsaw in his brain. The way his eyes dart across the paper is dizzying in of itself. He strokes his imaginary beard like it will stimulate his brain to think harder. She can only imagine what he’s trying to figure out. And it’s always fun to learn. “What is it?”

Hiccup answers more for himself than Astrid. “Something is missing…”

“What’s missing?”

“The reason why my dad wasn’t here yet.”

“How do you know he wasn’t?”

“If he was, we wouldn’t be here.” He finally looks up to meet her eyes, taking his hat back from Astrid’s head. His puzzled expression has melted into something crossed between worry and raw confusion. “This thing,” He flails the map in the air unceremoniously. “Wouldn’t have been folded up in a book on the shelf.” He starts to walk, maybe in another attempt to trigger a revelation of sorts. Astrid, interest too piqued to do otherwise, follows him. “I mean, it would have made more sense if this place didn’t exist at all.”

“Then why did you bother coming all this way if you weren’t sure of it? Why risk your time and energy?”

“Because I….” He trails off, hand searching his scalp for a clue. His tone, his posture, his energy shifts as he stops. “I...wanted to try and do something…for my dad. Maybe something...he didn’t get to do. Something he...couldn't?”

Astrid gives him a warm smile. Her loving hand rests on his shoulder. A sense of calm spreads through Hiccup with her touch. “You don’t have to live up to your dad, Hiccup.” She tells him with a kind of firmness that she’s perfected. But unlike her tone, when she meets the man’s eyes, her face is bright and soft. Her beauty is tranquil and delicate, something admirable. “Don’t feel pressured to.” Her fingers move from his shoulder to his cheek. “You’re both too different.”

“Different?” Hiccup chuckles. “You think?” He adds, sarcastically.

It’s true. Hiccup is sensitive, and clever, and innovative. His father was...not. Stoick was fierce. He was untouchable and a force to be reckoned with. His leadership style was stony, iron-fisted. He possessed a feared and intimidating image, and still does. Hiccup leads though friendship. His crew is much more than that. They’re his companions. He is a pacifist by nature, although it is not known for pirates to be such things.

Astrid laughs with him and nods, meeting his eyes and creating a connection invisible to those who aren’t them. “It’s a good thing though.”

“It is?”

“Yeah!” She playfully punches him in the arm like the ‘good-old-days.’ “You care more about your crew and the fun we have then the treasure we find! You like the adventure. Not the reward.”

“Oh c’mon!” Hiccup protests. “I’m not that much of an open book!” He rolls his map back up to tuck it under his belt.

“Maybe not.” Astrid replies as she straightens his hat on his head. “But I know how to read you.”

“AYE! CAPTAIN!” Gobber calls from further down the beach, taking the couple away from each other. “Help old Gobber get ‘is hammock up, will ya?”

That evening, the group finds themselves circled around a blazing bonfire while they indulge in the remnants of their spoils. They’ve had a few drinks, laughing about the hardships of their sail to the island, that seem all too distant and small now. 

With the stars above them, clear as the sun's light, and the waves crashing in the not-so-distance, there is a brief debate about whether they should go back home at all. The argument itself is primarily initiated by Snotlout, of course. But to his surprise, when no one dares to agree, Eret does. “Can’t say it wouldn’t be nice.” He says. “Perhaps just a brief break? We came all this way, afterall. What’s the harm in staying for a while?”

Tuffnut argues, “The gold will get stale.”

To which his sister rolls her eyes. “Gold doesn’t get stale, idiot.”

“Yes, it does! That’s how great-uncle Mutton went broke. He spent all his money on finding treasure, and he did, and then he let it get exposed to air for too long, and when he went to use it, he couldn't. ‘Cause it went stale.” 

Fishlegs is the one to divert the conversation back to its original topic though, thankfully. “I think we should stay too! I’ve never seen any biome like this. I’d like to know more about it. I could bring back some valuable research - and samples!”

“We’re pirates, not geograpers.” Snotlout interjects.

Hiccup is the only one to catch his error. “You mean geographers?”

“Whatever.”

The captain sighs. “Listen, I get you guys are excited and tired - and I am too, but let's not forget, there are hundreds of islands out there to explore!”

“Last time I checked islands don’t move.” Ruffnut states. “But it has been awhile since the last time I checked.”

“Snotlout, you said it yourself, right? We’re pirates! We live for the exploration! The adventure! The booty! That’s what we’re all about right?”

Eret chimes back in. “Of course, but it does get a bit tiring - it’s okay to take a holiday.”

“I mean - we have time on the ship.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! That’s no vacation, Hiccup.” Snotlout spits, patience wearing thinner. “Storms, sharks, puking and danger around every corner may be pleasant to you, but not us.”

“Hold on, let's not be too quick to generalize.” Astrid joins in, defending Hiccup and attempting to defuse the situation. “I think it’s really fun! We have so many places to explore and treasure to find - and obstacles to overcome together as a group, and so little time on this earth! What do you think, Gobber?” She smiles at the drunken old man next to her.

Suddenly, all eyes are on him, and he realises he wasn’t at all paying attention. “Ehhhhhhhh….” In a panic, he reaches for his trusty ukulele. “I think we need a lit’le music to lighten up the mood!” He answers gleefully, strumming the out-of-tune strings with a grin. Everyone groans. “Oh don’t be that way! C’mon how ‘bout we start with a classic, aye?” Upon clearing his throat in preparation, the old pirate softly and passionately begins to sing. “I’ll swim and sail on savage seas~,”

“Gobber-!”

“Shut up! I’m singing ~ with ner a fear of drowning. And gladly ride the waves of life, if you would marry me...” He looks around. No one appears nearly as entertained as they should be to his standards. “C’mon now, you big bunch of carps! Sing for gods sake! No scorching sun, nor freezing cold~”

They finally start. The singing is scarce, hopping shallowly from one person to the next, until they all start up, rather unenthusiastically in unison. “Will stop me on my journey, if you would promise me your heart, and love for all eternity.”

Gobber nods his head in approval. “Aye! That’s it!” He begins to strum more excitedly in his intoxicated mania. 

Soon, the entirety of the crew is drunk and there is nothing stopping them from screaming lyrics, dancing and jamming. Half of them blackout. The other half is too tipsy to care. By the time the sun comes up, there’s no denying the friends will be too helplessly hungover to begin their search for riches.


End file.
